A Little Good News:

Slow News Day: Billions of People Breathing In & Out and Tiger Woods Hits Pole

I tried to avoid this story, but almost every one of my sources seem to be reporting this as something of interest. I would probably rather write about billions of people still breathing. I mean, society has just discovered that we are probably not going to burn up from global warming (unless you are from CNN, then you are still embracing your doom). Black Friday came and went and everyone spent loads of money and helped out the retail industry (unless you are Joy Behar, then you stayed home and wished global warming would destroy all the racist shoppers). Not much news from Congress since many of them are on a holiday break (and for this we are truly thankful).

But Tiger Woods was reported to have been in a auto accident with a pole outside his house in Florida. I would have thought he would have been a better “driver” (get it? yeah, punny). And then its reported that his wife used a “woods” to break the window of the car to get him out. But now its not clear if it was a golf club or Tiger Woods head. (I toldya, punny). There was a report that his wife had just confronted him about an affair. Woods denies it. But, is Tiger really lion? (lyin). He has failed to show up for interviews with investigators, and it is rumored that the marks on his face were caused by his wife, as opposed to an accident. Yes, Woods was attack by “woods.” We will know soon as the story unfolds and whether or not he shows up at some upcoming scheduled events….or waits until the marks go away.

OK, now on a more important note, there are billions of people throughout the world that are still breathing in and out, and in and out…………..